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"I don't hate you. Probably."

10 gadgets you never knew you always wanted

Geeks, we love our gadgets and in honour of 2013, and just because it’s so damn cool, we’ve creates a list of the hottest, weirdest and coolest gadgets. Onwards to glory.

JetLev Flyer

It’s a jetpack, but instead of using weapons-grade rocket fuel, it uses regular water which is obviously much cheaper and can be acquired without some sort of government agency interference. It’ll cost you about R2-million (with free delivery, what a deal), but think of all the cash and bureaucratic inconvenience you’ll save in the longer term. Plus you’ll always be remembered as that guy who spent a couple of million bucks on a jetpack and smashed it into a two hundred-million buck super yacht. [Firebox]

At least you’ll be dead.

Mondo Spider

A 700-kilo, eight-legged walking robot is already impressive enough, but it’s the fact that you can actually ride it that puts Mondo Spider several billion cool categories ahead of that thing you built with your Lego Technic set when you were six. [eatART]

Better than whatever you’re driving.

Brain Rubik’s Cube

If you don’t have the brain for solving Rubik’s Cubes, maybe this Rubik’s Cube that looks like a brain is just what you need. Or maybe it doesn’t work quite like that. [Moist Production]

It’s a brain damage simulator that may cause brain damage.

Portal 2 Sentry Turret Desk Defender

This USB-powered motion-detecting sentry turret adds a consequence for failure in your very own office. It doesn’t actually shoot bullets or anything so unsubtle, but you’ll never know for sure if it’s lying when it says it doesn’t hate you. Especially when you flubbed your last big Power Point presentation in front of the whole board. [ThinkGeek]

“I don’t hate you. Probably.”

Gothic iPad dock

Everybody owns that one thing that they have just to impress people the first time they visit. If your visitors aren’t impressed by this iPad dock with a built-in speaker system and LED lighting that’s designed to look like something out of the Vatican private collection, then they shouldn’t be your visitors again. It’s that simple. [Bits Für Uns]

It’s authentic 12th century. Mostly.

USB tentacle

Nothing says sexy and dangerous like an Elder God writhing from the cold, unfathomable depths of your computer. [ThinkGeek]

Yeah, it just kind of appeared there after I swapped to AMD.

Game Skunk

Sensory Acumen’s GameSkunk is marketed as an “olfactory feedback system device”. Basically, it hooks up to your PC or console, and delivers from over a bank of over 30,000 different scents to enhance your gaming experience.

On second thought, maybe this is one you never knew you’d never wanted, and a spicy chicken pizza does pretty much the same thing anyway without the extra accessory purchase. [Sensory Acumen]

The smell of death surrounds me.

Game of Thrones… throne

This 150-kilo, 2.1-metre, life-sized replica of the Iron Throne is just the thing to replace that “trendy” lounge suite your significant other insisted on buying when you moved in together. How are you supposed to rule the Seven Kingdoms from a sofa, anyway? Nobody is going to take you seriously with that taupe weave that the cat has already clawed to shit. [HBO Shop]

When you play the game of thrones, you go big or you go home.

Schrödinger’s Cat Executive Decision Maker

Making decisions is hard, especially when you take quantum entanglement theory into account. You probably wouldn’t, of course, because most decisions generally don’t take quantum entanglement theory into account, but the Schrödinger’s Cat Executive Decision Maker does, and that makes its decisions more important than yours. [ThinkGeek]

Superdense coding or quantum teleportation? Or maybe just a ham sandwich.

World’s Largest Coffee Cup

What’s better than a cup of coffee? Twenty cups of coffee, obviously. [ThinkGeek]

That should keep you going until lunch.

Author Bio

Tarryn van der Byl
After discovering that a career as a space pirate was not yet supported by current advances in technology, Tarryn decided to write about space pirates instead. Or anything else people would pay her to write about, really. The point is to make enough money to get off this rock... More
  • Shadeburst

    Really cool article proving not only that “local is lekker” but it’s better than the imported product!

  • The Rich

    Huh? Don’t know what article you were reading, but it certainly wasn’t this one which lists only imported products.

  • Yeah…. if by local you mean Earth, then yes I agree.

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