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mass effect andromeda,games

Don’t buy these games for Christmas, no matter how cheap

I know the temptation is great. I really do. Your kid or friend wants a video game for Christmas but you have a million people to buy for and you really can’t afford to buy them that R1000 game. Believe me, I feel your pain.

But I promise you, they will hate you more if you get them a crap game. Rather give them a gift card or money towards the game they want, than buy them any of the games on this list.

1, 2 Switch

The worst part about 1, 2 Switch, is that it’s being sold as a standalone game. For actual money. It’s one thing if it was just bundled at launch for the Nintendo Switch (it was, by the way), but to actually ask people to pay real money for this piece of rubbish is just awful.

I promise you guys, nobody wants to pretend eat a sandwich or pretend shave with a JoyCon controller. Just no.

Double Dragon IV

There are good retro game remakes… and bad retro game remakes. Sadly, no matter how much you may have loved the original, don’t even think of buying your loved one this abysmal iteration of the franchise.

When the game even looks nigh-on identical to the almost 30 year old original, you have to question the reasons behind trying to resurrect it, and I guarantee that even if you bought it on a nostalgic whim, you’ll put it down and forget about it after about an hour.

Vroom in the Night Sky

Just… LOL! And not in a good way. How bad can a bike game be right? Turns out, pretty bad. I don’t even really want to waste your time explaining it further than you’re a witch riding on a broom through the night sky. Don’t even think about buying it for anyone. Okay, maybe your worst enemy.

For Honor

I wanted to like For Honor. I really did. At times it can be hugely rewarding, but then conversely, hugely frustrating. At launch there were grab attacks that couldn’t be blocked, combined with lagging PvP servers that just made the game a miserable experience all round.

The idea was awesome — but I really can’t recommend this game to anyone unless they hate the person they’re giving it to.

Mass Effect: Andromeda

I have a caveat here. I didn’t hate Mass Effect: Andromeda. Why is it still on this list then, you ask? Well, because it really is pretty buggy and wait, let’s just take a minute to meditate on the soulless eyes of Sarah Ryder…

I’m in two minds – do I say only buy it for a hardcore ME fan (because depending on the person, they may or may not be offended), or do I say only buy it for a gamer who has had no exposure to the previous games (because they may or may not ever play the previous ones as a result)?

I’m thinking rather play it safe and just don’t buy it at all. Let your intended recipients make their own mistakes…

Buy one of these titles at your own peril or be prepared to incur the wrath and/or be excommunicated by your loved one. You have been warned!

Author Bio

Pippa Tshabalala: Columnist
Pippa Tshabalala is the former presenter of The Verge -- South Africa's first locally produced TV show on videogames. She has a passion for all things gaming and tech related as well as a growing collection of tattoos. Based in Johannesburg, she is currently the On-Air Producer for Comedy... More